Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Nose hose

Only one thing could bring me back into the blogging lifestyle. Starts with an N, ends with an ose hose. Aka the neti pot. Like her, only with perkier, non-yogi boobs, tipsy off nose hose and sparkling white wine, with a giant smile on my face. I have been absolutely miserable from allergies the last few days and have held off on mainstream meds and their resulting side effects, but luckily the neti pot has cured all that ails me. Salt water in one nostril, the timorous feeling of inhaling the entire Great Salt Lake in one fell sweep followed by the relief of it easily flowing out the downward facing nostril, irrigating to completion. The nose hose is simultaneously terrifying and miraculous.

About the blog: For a year I wrote and entertained groups as disparate as wildebeasts from Papua New Guinea and men named "Papi" from nyc housing projects. Then it got me into trouble. My dad is very wise and kind and says that I may be an "Artiste," but maybe I should stop, think about what I've done, perchance learn a lesson, and remember that this thing the younguns call "doing arteestic things" could eventually be aligned with my real name and ruin my chances of getting ahead in business. I should learn a lesson from the downfall of one public figure after another. But then the Lord Browne thing hit the press today, and hey, if the head of BP is going down, I want to go down with him. At least I don't have a scandalous gay sex partner lurking in my background, ready to destroy me. There's still time.

And how can I stop something that's become an extension of myself? If it worked for Dana Vachon, why can't it work for me? My name is Papi and I want a book deal.

10 comments:

jgo said...

Missed you Amy. Seriously though, who can connect this back to real life? Youve been pretty anonymous.

jgo said...

http://nymag.com/news/features/2007/sexandlove/30918/

jgo said...

http://nymag.com/news/features/2007/sexandlove/30918/

brigid said...

i'm so glad you're back. I have missed reading your personal insights into life, love, homeless men and lack of sex in new york.

a semi-similarly situated gal across the east river
*brigid

Don Guitar said...

First off, wow, thanks for the heads-up on the neti pot. That's exactly what we (my sife and I) need.

Second, I don't admit this often because it's not something a man would normally admit but I was a virgin until I was 23. No, really, the genuine article, 100% sex-free (other than the DIY variety). I hated it, but, in retrospect, I should have waited a few more years. Oh well, I guess "thinking with the little head" is a necessary phase in a man's life. I didn't miss anything, I just delayed my development somewhat. Nor was I quite able to get the hang of marriage. I just kept trying until I got it right. Still, in the end, it all worked out. Yes, there are happy endings, or maybe beginnings, I don't quibble, I just enjoy.

Best regards from me and Lisa, who's reading over my shoulder. Her blog is here:
http://thedirtgoddess.blogspot.com/

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